so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize