It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
