omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Found your dick twin last night
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
