sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
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