The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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