Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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