Do vagina's smell?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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