hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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