doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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