So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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