I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She bit a glass in half.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
