Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
