Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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