is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I love you. Go after that dick
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
