I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
