I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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