This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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