Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
