you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
