Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I need a burrito and a hug.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize