Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
where are my eyebrows?
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