just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I can't turn off my feet"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
