Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
