Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
