We won't sleep together?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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