Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize