he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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