3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize