is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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