i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My liver just had a heart attack.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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