Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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