i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
it hurts more in the daytime
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
try to milk me bitch
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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