PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
