Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
