she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
