Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
youre lurking in front of me
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize