bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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