what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
