how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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