Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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