there was a trapeze. enough said
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
