You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
