Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
