We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
