I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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