When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
