Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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