we need to drink 2009 down the drain
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
