Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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