he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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