Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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