I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
