We're like a lot better than the average bears
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
