I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize