yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
nutella sex= disaster
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
