Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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