I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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