he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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