Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
