just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
