I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
