I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
