i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
