why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
