He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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