fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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