The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
